


Diplomatic Diaries

by KieraRutherford



Series: Diplomatic [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Continues from Diplomatic Dilemma series, F/M, Written letters between multiple people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-11-20 16:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 13,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KieraRutherford/pseuds/KieraRutherford
Summary: The sequel to Diplomatic Dilemma. Written letters, diaries and correspondences between all parties. Will bridge the time between the end of Diplomatic Dilemma to the events of Trespasser.





	1. First Entry

**Author's Note:**

> Continued from Diplomatic Dilemma. Please read before this or nothing will make sense.

I was given this book to write about my experiences carrying the twin so I suppose it best I should begin now. I can’t mention names, or dates, I may only to speak to my experiences. Perhaps this will bring me some peace over this decision. I made it with such haste, I scarcely had time to decide if it was the right choice. It was an enchanting event, to say the least. One I would not turn down again. Both men where, incredible. So strong, and eager to please. I found myself lost in the heat of the moment, the passion and pleasure. Now, I am not as sure as when we started. I have started taking the tea in the morning, it has made the worst of the child sickness bearable. I am told with the herbs it will move things along quickly and help the development of the young ones. I dare say it has made me ravenous! Were it not for my trusted partner, I would be in the larder constantly. Cheese, I have never been so desperate for cheese in all my years. Today in the war room, one of the advisors had to slap my hand as I began munching away on a rather large section of a cheese wheel left over from the delegation.  

I am glad I have close people involved in my well being and who I can call friend. Without them I fear I would quit this as soon as I could. I am tired, all the time. No amount of water or food seems to bring me the bountiful energy I once had. It has only been a couple weeks since everyone has returned to whence they came, and I have already been summoned to both houses. I hate leaving my beloved to tend to this matter. The travel will take me away from Skyhold for nearly two months and I cannot have him travel with me now. I do this for him, for all Thedas and this will test everything I secretly worry about. But I go on too long, this is but the first entry and I am to detail my feelings, thoughts and how I feel. I feel tired, hungry and anxious. Perhaps things will get better as this progress, perhaps it will not. I make leave tomorrow. I have been told I will travel via carriage, not on horse back as I originally requested. I was naturally upset at first but I understand they are looking out for my well being. 

I still train, though I am relegated to only to light  
sparring with the Commander. He is too gentle on me and bares the brunt of my discomfort all too often. Perhaps I shall obtain something for him while on this journey. An apology for my sore mood. Yes, that will be appropriate I think. I shall endeavour to write once we reach our first location, unless something monumental arises before hand. I will not sign this, to prevent any harm.


	2. Cullen's letter

Inquisitor Trevelyan

_My dear, I hope this letter finds you well. I worry for your well being while you are away from me for so long. I know the King’s hospitality is renown, and I have faith in his ability to keep you well. Things are running smoothly in Skyhold. Training of the new batch of recruits has gone well and perhaps by your return they may be training with full steel. Several of our mage groups have detected weaknesses in the veil around Redcliffe and have been dispatched to try to strengthen the barrier against demons. We have also sent a small group of Templars with them to protect their work, and prevent any demons slipping through the veil. One of the Templar lieutenants believes there may be blood magic being practised near by causing the veil to weaken. It is incredible to see both mages and Templars still eager to work together, even now that our work is no longer pointed at a single enemy._

_I digress. Varric is leaving for Kirkwall tomorrow and wished me to convey his best as you would not return by then. He has left you a signed copy of his next three books and what appears to be a rough manuscript on something called, ‘Dragon Age: Inquisition,’ I have not taken any liberties in reading any of it. Sera slipped away in the night, leaving a letter I have sent along with this one. I have a hard time believing she is truly gone, and have spent most of the last day watching over my shoulder for any signs of her trickery._

_I must now confess myself, I miss you dreadfully. Even though you have only been gone for a few days it feels as though you are a world away. I have taken to sleeping in my tower again. To stay in your quarters without you, I cannot bear it. Forgive me. Please, be well my love and I shall look for your letter. I love you, please, be safe._

_Sincerely,_

_Cullen_


	3. Diana's Second Diary Entry

I received the letter from him today. It tore a piece of my heart out as I read it. Tears fell from my eyes without my control. Thankfully there was some comfort in the arms of my host. He is a most gracious and lovely man. Understanding of my pain and eager to assist in any way he can. His healer saw me today and says things are well and everything is as it should be. We giggled over our shared love of cheese, much to the dismay of his Uncle who seems to barely tolerate my presence. I have been told he was not always this way, but that does little to take the sting off his coldness. Were he to know the struggle and effort we are making. But no, I cannot mention such things. We are to tour his hometown tomorrow, though I have been there before he insists he has some surprise in store for me. I pray I have the energy to attend. - D

 **A letter scented with fragrant perfume:**  

_Cullen,_

_Thank you for the update on the situation at Skyhold. It saddens me to not see Varric off. If it brings you some comfort or helps take your mind off my absence please, feel free to read the books and manuscript he left. I wouldn’t worry about Sera too much, she is a woman of her word. Though best to watch your chair and desk for a bit. Just to be sure she hasn’t left a parting gift._

_I miss you my dearest as well. The nights aren’t nearly as comfortable without your arms to hold me. I miss the feel of your warm skin against mine. Your lips on mine. I apologize, I shouldn’t write such things but Maker be damned, I do hate this distance!_

_They have me dedicating some statue to the Inquisition in Redcliffe tomorrow and in a couple days I make way for Halamshiral. There is a small inn a couple hours ride from Skyhold, perhaps you could arrange to meet me there? If it is not too much to ask. Please be well. I understand it is hard not having me at Skyhold, especially now. Please, don’t work too hard, remember to sleep and eat. I will be very angry if I come back to a pale and placid Commander. I shall have you performing many tasks if you are not healthy._

_Love,_

_Diana_


	4. Correspondence between private parties

I write to you in earnest about the welfare of D. Please, if you could give me your frankest opinion on the matter it would help set my mind at ease. These are trying times and D seems to be much more delicate at times. Not the strong, character I have become accustomed to. Perhaps it is the pressures placed upon them, or their current affliction, but never the less I worry terribly. If you could send word, I would be forever in your debate.

_-C_

**A returned letter with scribbled out words at the top.**

_C,_

_D is a strong person, though this has greatly burdened them. A warm hand is needed now. Meet D in two days at the destination in between. Be gentle and firm. D needs you right now, all of you. I shall keep eye on D till you lay your eyes personally on them. Be ware, I sense there is someone keeping tabs on D. Someone outside our small arrangement. I have taken care of one loose end here and forwarded a message to L. Be careful, this is far from the end._

_-A_

**A parchment with red blotches on the ends**

_C,_

_I have received word from A. Sent my best agent to enquire. We have a strong Venatori issue. The root is hiding from me, for now. Be wary and double on your codes. We are stepping up security and changing cipher at random intervals to throw off this problem. My interrogation of the caught traitor has proven fruitful. I shall have full details I can relay in person within a day. Speak none of this to D. We need to make sure these Venatori do not go back underground. Be safe._

_-L_


	5. First entry of Cullen Rutherford

I met with Diana, she was very emotional. Crying one moment and laughing the next. I have been told this will last for the remainder of the time. I did my best to console her, and satisfy any needs that arose over the two days we spent at the inn and while travelling. She did not wish me to leave her side, and I would have given anything to give in to her pleas. With Rylen at the Western Approach and Michel assisting in the Emprise Du Lion, I am stretched rather thin at Skyhold. It took incredible lengths to meet with her for the two days I could.

_She worries on length that I will no longer find her attractive, or wish to be with her as she progresses. It is saddening to see such a strong woman reduced to tears through all this. We are only a month into our efforts and her worries are increasing. I wish she would speak more of the true core of her worries. I fear she is holding back on her deepest thoughts. Perhaps with time she will come to trust herself and speak on such thoughts, as it is clear they burden her deeply. She is not due back to Skyhold for a month. The Empress has her commissioning paintings, erecting a statue in honour of the Inquisition and a small tour of the Imperial highway._

_I have had several changes slowly commissioned with Leliana’s assistance in her quarters. Josephine has had all her clothes taken out and material added to make her more comfortable upon her return. Josephine has gone so far as to have a few custom pieces made using her larger frame to accommodate Diana’s growth. Though I have been told, Diana will not be able to stay longer periods at Skyhold soon enough. This has made my heart heavy, and I have decided to write in this journal once more to try to alleviate the ache in my soul._

_I must return to my letters and duty roster, this has helped clear my mind to focus. A carrier bird should return with word soon from Diana. I pray it is better news than I fear._

_Cullen_


	6. Diana's private journal entry number 2

I am on my way back to Skyhold tomorrow morning and fear grips me tightly. My clothing has stretched tightly and my skin itches morning and night. My wonderful hostess was kind enough to procure some incredible lotions for my irritations. Sleep has been impossible these last few nights. I am gripped with nightmares of Corypheus, and every slight noise in my room at night forces me to full alertness. To feel more comfortable, I have begun sleeping with a dagger under my pillow. While it provides me moderate comfort, I am unsure if I am being smart or paranoid.

_I miss him. Truly. Though I am afraid. He was so kind to me at the inn. Tending to everything without a single complaint. I fear these thoughts in my mind. I fear what is to come. His eyes spoke of sorrow, and I am unsure what that means. He was tender and sweet, more so then he’s ever been. Gentle as a pup. I am unworthy of his love, his care._

_The sickness has gotten weaker and I feel some of my energy returning. Not enough for my liking but it hopefully is a start. My return will be a short one I fear. Less than a month, then I shall be forced to travel again. I wish to stay longer, perhaps I can convince people to allow my stay. I am sure the there will be a stack of papers nearly as tall as I am upon my desk. I have said enough, dinner has been brought up and I am famished. Alongside my craving for cheeses, I cannot get enough of these small honey cakes. I am told they are an Orlesian royal treat. Thankfully I have received a copy of the recipe and I intend to treat my friends to these wonderful little pieces of gold._

_I shall try my best to write again once I return to Skyhold. Perhaps things will not be as I fear them. – D_


	7. Cullen's second entry

She returned today and by the Maker she was glowing. Radiant and bright like the sun. I was in awe of her, strong and bold as she came out of the coach. Josephine and Leliana ushered her into her quarters quickly. It took a bit of work but I managed to sneak away to visit her in her private. She was not the smiling, vibrant woman I expected. Instead she was sullen and quiet, the fire inside her seemingly snuffed out. Leliana gave a signal to see her later and I intend to after I clear my mind here.

_I tried to touch her, wrap her in my arms as I always do when she returns but she was cold and distant. I fear she is trying to save me some pain. Pain that is not there. I do not know how it has gotten into her mind, and I have done my best to not feed into such thoughts, but she is set on it. Set on my leaving her once this comes to its end. I have vowed not to but it does not seem enough. I have written to Alistair. She is set to return to him within a month and I hope that by then she will come around. I will not give up._

_Unfortunately, I am called away to business myself. I must venture to the Western Approach to inspect some recent improvements Rylen put in place. From there I am set to head to the Emprise Du Lion. Michel wants to get my views on the red lyrium mine and where anything can be done. I have put both off for too long and I am most certain soon it will draw questions. I leave in two weeks once the last batch of recruits finish their training. I pray within that time Diana allows me to be with her._

_There is much to do yet. Though we have stopped Corypheus, we have not stopped his Venatori. Samson has given us a great deal of information on the inner workings of his highest associates but I fear he is not being complete with us. He requested writing materials today, claiming he needed to write his thoughts down and his time was close. Red lyrium sickness will claim him soon. I pray he uses this time to clear his conscious, if he still possesses one. Leliana has an agent keeping an eye on him but I fear he may yet prove a threat. I hope I am wrong. Venatori agents seek Diana’s death still and I will not rest until we have purged the earth of the last of them. Leliana’s spies have tracked a cell in both the Winter Palace and Fereldan’s kingdom. We shall see if they can be drawn out. Leliana assures me her plan will bright their cell to light and expunge them from the face of Thedas. We shall see. – Cullen_


	8. Coded letters between parties

We have within our hands one of these agents of Corypheus. After several hours with the specialist he has yet to speak. It seems they are immune to pain. This poses a major issue. I do not have faith that we may get anything out of him, outside of his constant threats. There must be something that frightens him, yet we can find nothing. We request aid – **Painter**

 _Retrieve Scrumples, these Tevinter bastards have rarely seen his kind_ – **Leliana**

 _It was impressive to see the effect Scrumples had on our guest. We have information that one called Calpernia is set on using the Venatori to bring Tevinter back to its glorious past. She is working to create massive slave revolts across the Imperium. She has only targeted the Inquisitor to avoid a united Thedas storming them once their plans are in motion. There is no other word. Advise_ – **Painter**

 _Wonderful. Dispose of the agent. We have what we need. Recall Baker, I want Baker in the Fereldan Castle. I believe I have a way to clear out their numbers there. The Winter Palace will have to wait_ - **Leliana**

 _Baker is on route. She will be a washing woman. She will report in, within three days time. Our friend is resting in the Void. Scrumples has been returned and is quite pleased with himself. We may wish to have a couple around full time for future endeavours_ – **Painter**

**A folded letter bearing the King of Fereldan’s seal:**

_I am concerned for Diana’s health. Leliana, I write to you because of our shared time together. Perhaps you can get through to her where we all have failed. Her letters seem emotionally dead, and where once a vibrant woman stood, a shell now waits. I have sent one of the small vials she has been taking, given to her by the Empress. I do not trust this magic. This is a natural process and this seems strange. I’ve also sent some of the herbs she has been brewing for her morning tea. Perhaps I am being an over protective father but this doesn’t sit well with me. Were it Morrigan who gave these I would feel better. Funny as that is to say. Please, let me know what your people can find. I trust your ability to keep this discreet._  – **Alistair Theirin**


	9. Parchment stained with multiple colourful fluids

You were right to bring these in. They are by no means harmless. While I could see they may assist your sister in maintaining her womb fruit, it is entirely dangerous. There are herbs in this meant to control the mind, affect one’s general mood and create a dark forbearing feeling. Whomever gave this intended to enslave your dear sister throughout the growth of the child inside her. She must immediately stop taking these potions. As for the tea, it can be stopped as well. Also, very effective at minimizing the child sickness, it can cause rapid development of the child. Not harmful to the child inside her, but it is potential fatal to the mother. She would almost certainly die in childbirth. This is evil at the least. Please, give her the herbs I wrote underneath. They will make her feel clearer. They should be drank for seven nights and seven mornings. From there, she should be free of the poisons. Her child or children are at no harm. These brews were meant to harm her. I would ask what she has done to the healer to cause such a horrible treatment, but it is for the best I not ask. If you require my services further, you know where to find me – **A**

**The above letter, copied and sent along with another letter-**

_It was as you feared, old friend. We have made the switch and she has brightened wonderfully. I do not believe she is out of danger and in confidence I have sent one of my best agents to you. She will tend to the Venatori problem and she has been granted full permission to give you council. I trust her. I will deal with the Orlesian court. I have a sneaking suspicious a certain ambassador may be behind our problems. For now, know she is safe and will remain so. If you have further concerns, we can address them._ **_– L_**


	10. Cullen Rutherford third diary entry

It is wonderful the change in her. Though I pray I do not speak too soon. She is insatiable. It has become quite the gossip of the barracks. At all hours of the day and night she wishes me in her bed. Once, twice, several times are never enough. If she could keep me in her private quarters, naked and ready for her, I am positive she would. She interrupts meetings with men, kicking them out of my tower to have me satisfy her. I cannot say I am upset with this, in fact it has been almost a dream come true.

_Its very difficult to have a bad day when you are with a woman such as her, and to have her want only my hand, my lips, it is invigorating. Perhaps I speak like a lovesick boy, but I cannot deny the thrill every time she sends for me._

_I have put off my journeys to the Approach and Orlais till she is set to leave. Another week at the most will not cause much harm, and Maker forgive me for being selfish. I cannot bring myself to leave, not now. As hungry as she is for me, I feel an equal urge to be with her. Though we have beat back Corypheus months ago now, we have yet to garner time alone for more than a brief day at best._

_Leliana informed me about the issue with the potions and her tea. I was at first beyond furious. Were I not in my position I would have ridden to the healer myself and kindly removed his hands. At the least. Thankfully Leliana helped calm me down and assured me that she was on the track of our poisoner. Though I have little doubt it is the Empress herself who wishes to silence the Inquisition and their debt over her head. I have added a second guard rotation about the archives and Leliana’s papers. I do not think they are brave enough yet to try such a thing but in time I know they will._

_We now contend with the last of the Venatori, a few minor tears in the Veil and now this diplomatic dilemma. I dare say it would be far easier to knock in a few doors and handle the matter with a show of force. Of course, Leliana and Diana both laughed me out of the war room at the suggestion._

_I must return now to Diana, our time is precious and short. Maker how I wish we both did not have to travel so. One day, perhaps there will be no need for the Inquisition and we can retire to a quiet life. If that were to happen, I dare say I would be surprised. There is always some new tragedy or incident requiring our immediate reply. I shall write again once I return to Skyhold. I only hope it is a quiet return.– **CR**_


	11. Diana's private journal dated 2 1/2months into her pregnancy

Time seems to be traveling mercilessly forward. I have toleave tomorrow for Fereldan. A slight detour from the original plans of Orlais. Leliana assured me the new teas and herbs from the healer were much better and I feel more myself. She has neglected to tell me all, but I trust she is up to her usual careful ways. She told me Alistair will have more information for me once I arrived at Denerim Castle. An agent has been sent ahead to accommodate my needs. I am unsure how to feel about this. Something isn’t adding up for me and even Cullen has remained tight lipped despite my, attempts. I am on edge about all of this. I feel so much better than I have in quite some time and perhaps even back to my old self. Yet I cannot help but think that I am being kept in the dark. Something I am not pleased about in the least. I understand there need to keep me happy and calm but there is more than a simple concern for my mood. I plan to do my own sneaking around later.

_Cullen has been incredible these last few days and I am sullen to leave him for so long. I shall speak with Alistair and see about shortening my visit. There is so much to do around Skyhold and Josephine believes a couple small balls would appease the banns of Fereldan and the Comtes of Orlais. I have had to agree, it will appease all the nobles and keep any unwelcome questions at bay when I become unreachable in the end of this. I shall return to tend to the selections of cakes, wines, and of course a new dress. I must admit I am looking forward to a wonderfully frilly dress and decadent cake._

_I must return to my packing, and one more night with my Commander. I plan to leave him with a very large smile and a few aches. – **DT**_


	12. A letter written in fine script

Leliana, it is a miracle! She is back to being such a vivacious woman! The Maker himself would be thrilled to have her at his side. She has such incredible energy and life, I could not be more pleased with her turn of health. She glows, Leliana, glows! I cannot begin to thank you enough. I will be very saddened when she leaves in the next few days. I do not believe I have laughed or smiled this much since our travels.

_Remember the wonderful songs you used to sing around the fire at night? How Morrigan used to grump about it, yet she’d always slink in close to hear every word? Ah yes, wonderful times. Minus the ritual dismemberment of darkspawn._

_Before I become misty eyed. Diana speaks of a ball to be held upon her return to Skyhold. I dare say, I am to be invited as well? I would love the chance to get away from the constant hassles of Uncle Teagan. It seems he is dead set on making some form of ‘stand’ against the Orlesians. Diana convinced me that I should come and spend the night dancing away and laughing with her. It would create a wonderful rash of whispers amongst the Orlais nobles. Please don’t tell your ambassador, I fear she will ruin our little fun if she caught word._

_Your agent has done wonders. A hushed removal of three bodies late at night was a bit of a sticky situation but if you remember the old well by the Chantry, it has gotten some new use. Baker, was it? Yes, she believes that was the last of them. Though she has informed me her report will be along soon. Something about following a thread. I suppose you understand this more than I. She wished I write one line to you; Arlathan fell by their hand and their hands alone. I have no idea what that means, but may it serve your needs._

_I shall write again once Diana leaves for Skyhold. Thank you again, old friend. I owe you. – **Alistair**_


	13. A blood stained letter upon Leliana's desk

_While it was a mess to clean up, Fereldan’s King may sleep well knowing his head will remain upon his shoulders. The Venatori here, planned on murdering him in his sleep at the next Orlesian gathering. Even had a fancy Chevalier dagger to do the deed. Several papers tied back to three different options. I managed to ferret out one for certain. Antivan Crows. Someone has gone through the effort to hire Antivan Crows to poison the Inquisitor. That was the select poison in her tea and potions. If taken for an extended period of time our Lady would simply have collapsed and passed without anything appearing wrong. She would have exhibited depression, sadness, possibly pushed the Commander away and people would have sworn she died of a broken heart. The Crows have been paid and believe their job is complete. We need not worry about them, but I have made contact with Zevran. He is going to delve further into their dealings._

_I have forwarded what papers I found upon the Venatori bodies. They are heavily coded and I could not manage to decipher them myself. I apologize, Nightingale._

_I shall remain in Denerim, there are two more leads requiring my attention. Once I have further information I shall deliver at our usual place. With the proper codes. My lady –_ **_Baker_ **

**Black Vellum sealed with a crow** :

_I require the below message decoded. I retain the original as always. Whatever it takes, spare no expense. Time is precious, the quicker you can receive this, the more your reward. – **Nightingale**_


	14. Letter from Diana to Cullen

_My love, it feels like forever since you laid within my arms. Maker, I can still smell your scent when I close my eyes. Please forgive me, how I ache for you. It is a cruel fate to be kept from you for so long. Though I wish to put your mind at ease a bit. Our agent caught a few of those Venatori bastards, and I have been treated like the Queen of Fereldan while here. It is nothing compared to you and your devotion but it helps ease the ache._

_I feel stronger and more myself as each day passes. So much so, I begun working a small rose garden in the palace. Alistair finds it amusing and believes it would be a wonderful gift for the child. Something of their mother, even if it is in secret._

_I caught myself weeping at that. These children will never know me as their mother. If it is not beyond you, I wish to have one of our own. Later, once the pain subsides. Could you imagine, a little curly haired girl with a face full of freckles? Or perhaps a head full of bouncing curls on a strapping young lad? I didn’t think of it before, never thought I was made for it. Perhaps I was wrong in my fears. I am sorry. So sorry for the harsh words I spoke before, about not wanting children. Forgive me, my love. I was terribly wrong._

_I hope this letter finds you well. I feel so scattered and I know my letter may come across that way. I have such freedom to sit and think here without interruption. It is welcoming and odd. My mind travels to so many different places and it is never quiet. Perhaps you understand what I mean. I hope all is well with you. Eating properly and remembering to sleep. I would be very upset to see a gaunt Commander upon my return. I am well and safe, there is nothing to concern yourself about. Other than the newly tailored dinner jacket I had ordered for you before I left. A little surprise that should be sitting upon your desk when you return._

_Maker, I rant and I ramble! I hear from the washer lady that it is the babes that make women’s minds run so. She believes I am with your child, it may be easier to say so. It is a lot to ask, and of course we’d have to fake losing the children in birth. I ask too much perhaps. Please, write to me. Tell me you love me, for I miss you more than these silly words can say. Be well my love and meet me in our room upon your return. I shall be waiting you, with a hot soak and fresh soaps. I love you._

_Diana Trevelyan._


	15. Cullen Rutherford's diary dated 3 months into the pregnancy

_We are preparing for the first of three small soirees at Skyhold. I have only just returned from the Approach. Rylen and his men are well seated and have a near perfect view of the trade routes running through. I cannot complain in the least about his efficiency as a Commander in his own right. Perhaps he would make a good replacement were I in need to step away for a small break. Things run smoothly and with the last of the rifts sealed we only have damages and the Venatori to contend with._

_Venatori. That issue has been a deep-rooted mess. Leliana assures me they have decoded the letter and it holds valuable information about the few remaining cells. I had originally believed that Samson may somehow be orchestrating the mess from behind his cell. I was in error. It seems Samson has been honest and forth coming in his stories. He has written several books worth of information that Leliana’s people pour over. He began sputtering blood this morning. Dagna has done what she can to try to ease his suffering but the effects of the red lyrium are winning. He won’t last much longer. She gave him another month to make himself right with the Maker. After all he has done, to the Order, people that trusted him, and himself; I find it hard to forgive him. Yet, here he is, in his last days and all he does is provide a wealth of information that will stop further efforts by the Venatori and Corypheus supporters. I can’t help but think, maybe he has done something right in the end._

_On to brighter thoughts. Diana is in her true form, fully. It is amusing to watch as she pushes Josephine into reacting. Just as she did at Halamshiral nearly a year ago now. Her quick wit and sharp tongue are as powerful as they have ever been. Only the casual touch of her stomach betrays her. Josephine has tried to teach her to prevent the touching, but it seems to be a useless endeavour. Leliana wants to use our relationship to help hide the babies. I cannot in all good faith say yes or no. There is a large part of me that wishes beyond the reasonable that the life growing inside of her was mine. Maker how I pretend some days. It is not healthy, I know. She sent me a letter apologizing and say we should have one of our own. My heart leapt with delight at the thought. We simply must get through all that is to come. I will allow Leliana to make the claim, if only to keep Diana safe. It may even keep Diana at Skyhold more, and within my protective sight. I will not allow anything to happen to her, never again._

_I feel relieved having gotten this down in writing. I must finish my daily reports and hopefully, I can steal my Diana away for some quiet time. Maker, how I love this woman. – **Cullen**_


	16. Diana's entry written after their first soiree. 3 1/2 months along

_Tonight, was a major success and it was wonderful not having to hide my affections for Cullen before the nobility. It was incredibly liberating! How I wished I could have done so at the Winter Palace. It would have been at least a half enjoyable evening. Either way the nobility seemed pleased and it was a wonderful change of pace. I will get to stay at Skyhold for a couple weeks before I make the journey to Orlais. I have avoided the trip for too long and from Josephine’s reactions, I can tell the Empress is growing impatient._

_Something nags at me, and I will be prepared, without a question. Something is wrong with Orlais and I have a sneaking suspicion that it involves a certain elven ambassador. It saddens me, but Iron Bull and Dorian are leaving soon. Both going to Tevinter I am told. Well, Bull isn’t going to Tevinter per say. More like taking jobs close to the border, with interest. I wished Dorian all the best, and told him I’d miss him dreadfully. He seemed to enjoy my overly dramatic send off. Of course, I will write him and I told him I expected to hear back from him regularly, less the Inquisition storm the Imperium itself. He was very amused with the idea, even thought of dressing Cullen in some wonderful half-shirt robe to sneak him over. I couldn’t help but snicker so hard I nearly choked on my tea. While he is a cousin in some distance, he is and will always be a treasured friend. Telling him so earned me a half scowl and a nasty glare as he fought back tears. They leave in a couple days, but I worried with my schedule I may miss their departure._

_Bull was a much more relaxed good bye. One I will cherish. I informed him he better treat my cousin well and that he was welcome in the family. A little wink and a firm hug made Bull choke up a bit. After all that he left a bottle for ‘after the wee one comes,’ he gave me a knowing nod. I think he knows exactly what is going on. Damn Ben-Hassrath training. I admit, they’re good._

_Skyhold is going to feel so much emptier without my people. I don’t know what I’ll do without my daily sit and chat with Dorian. Wicked Grace with Varric. Cookies on the roof with Sera. A warm hug, and terrible ale with Bull. Oh, I need to stop now before I commit myself to tears._

_I intend to crawl back into bed, snuggle up to my darling Cullen and forget about all of the loss for today. Tomorrow, we work on repairing Thedas. There is still so much work to do. The mage and templar rebellions created such a mess. Corypheus and his damn dragon. Red lyrium is still heavy in some areas as well. There are people to feed and in need to aid and I will refuse none. An Inquisition for all, I said so long ago. Maker, please let me do this. – Diana._


	17. Faded Parchement Pressed Upon a Desk

Fade Parchment pressed out upon a desk

We have managed to decode the letter from the Venatori. Thankfully the tomes you provided from the Western Approach and the Hissing Wastes has made their scripts easy to crack. The issue is, it seems to be double encrypted. I say this, as the small paragraph is impossible to read! I’ve sent a copy along with what it says. Perhaps we are missing another tome or book reference this code is from. If you do crack it, please send along a word. We are most interested in its meaning – Carta Handler Beckett

“Though the wind howls across the desert sands, it shall always cool the weary.  
Though the endless sun hangs upon the sky, it shall set and grant reprieve.  
Though the starless sky is dark and unforgiving, the moon will guide you.  
Words read to easy and comfort, spread truth and sanctuary.  
Be quiet like the mouse, bold like the eagle and strong as the bear.  
Within the heart of wood, you shall seek what you need.  
Act while the stage is still set. Act before the moon disappears.  
Cleansing fire, brilliant light, will wash away the deeds.”

A coded letter to Leliana;

My dearest Leliana. It is good to write to you again, sadly not under the happiest of terms. It seems someone has gone through a great deal of trouble to harm your Inquisitor, yes? She helped me with the Lord Enzo business. Hiding amongst the Commander’s men was most thrilling. I find I owe her a bit more than a single mark. In short, I did a little digging into our crow friends. Seems they speak of an elven mistress who paid a very heavy sum. Details are not the best and I am in the process of getting the answers. It may require a few days but for now the Inquisitor is not in harms way. I shall send word soon as I have more. – Zevran


	18. 4 Months Into the Pregnancy

4 months into the pregnancy, Diana’s musings;

I am itchy all that time. Were it not for the blessed balms Josephine finds from Orlais, I would scratch myself raw. Things have quieted down at the least. Our next ball is set to be thrown in two months time. Something Josephine insists on, in order to prevent missing the ball the Empress is throwing. A ball in honour of the Inquisitions efforts. All rifts have been sealed. Our mage allies have continued to work to provide care and aid. Much of the Hinterlands and Fereldan suffer from the rebellions. To top all of this, it seems we have a bought of darkspawn. Something has driven small pockets to the surface. I would tend to it personally but, I have been informed I shall do no such thing in my condition.   
Instead we sent several groups, with some Grey Warden assistance to the known areas. We await word soon. There is still so much to do, and daily there are always issues. Many nobles fight for land, merchants and other small squabbles. It seems they all wish my judgement or advice. I have spent the last week since the ball, sitting at the throne. Solving trivial matters to full on civil disputes. 

In truth it is nice not to have to rush off to hunt this, or kill that. My only contention is, I want my Cullen back. He was called away to deal with an issue in the Western Approach and won’t return for a couple weeks. By that time I will be forced again to leave, heading first to Denerim to meet King Alistair. Then onward to Orlais. My legs tire, I am going to head out for a walk upon the battlements. Perhaps that will help calm my mind – Diana

Letter from Leliana to Painter:

Baker has not written in at her usual times. I am sending you to see to her. You know of her last whereabouts. Find her, or whatever happened to her. Send word immediately. Whatever is being planned, is being done in a couple weeks. – L


	19. Cullen's journal 4months in

_I feel terrible for lying to Hyacinth about my journey. I have made way to Denerim to seek council with Alistair. Something about the Venatori and our agent. There is no doubt in my mind that this trip may be a trap. To seek me and me alone is daunting. I am not afraid, I am more than able to handle myself in this situation. I know Fereldan, grew up here. Meeting in the Pearl, I am almost certain it is not Alistair. I shall keep to myself and all shall be well enough. Pray for me._ -Cullen

**Parchment of a high quality, sealed and folded.**

_Leliana, I have found and eliminated several Crows with some very interesting information. In fact one set up a rather awkward and private meeting, pretending to be Alistair. He had intended to murder you Commander. Have no fears the man was no match for the Commander, or the poison I spiked his drink with. Regardless, I have spoken to Cullen. He was thankful for my attention and I left him with a bundle of letters. Some coded, but I am sure you can easily get your hands on the ciphers. I fear your lady is in danger. Someone is going to attempt to assassinate her at the next Skyhold ball. That much I am certain of, but I can make an offer. Free for you, of course. I can slip into the party, and keep a very attentive eye on the blessed Herald. I spoke to the Commander, he seemed interested in my words. Another set of friendly eyes would be appreciated, he said. You know my dead drops, I look forward to hearing from you Leliana. It has been too long._ – Zevran

**Diana’s diary 4 ½ months**

_Oh, I am over joyed that Cullen is set to return today! I will finally be able to get some of his time. If only for a brief time. I am set to leave for Orlais in two weeks. The Empress sent word before Cullen left that she had to reschedule our time. A family matter, she claimed. I can sense something is going on around me and it is becoming frustrating that no one will speak to me. I know there is a fear it may upset me and cause harm to the babes, but is my peace of mind so delicate? I sealed the Breach, stopped Alexius, saved the Grey Wardens, saved the Empress, found the well of sorrows and stopped Corypheus. What could be so dire that no one will dare speak it to me? I intend to do some snooping around later. I do hope to get to the bottom of this, without Leliana discovering. Things are not right. And I will not be taken for a fool!_ – Diana


	20. Coded correspondences

**Bloodstained letter, coded sitting upon Leliana’s desk** -

 _Our agent was found in Orlais. What was left of him could barely fit in a satchel. I apologize for the failure. The Venatori are deep in Orlais and they hide in plain sight. We have managed to catch and remove several of them but it seems unending. We do not believe the Empress or the Ambassador are aware of the situation and all attempts to send word have been fruitless. We await your orders_. 

**Diana’s diary entry 5 months-**

_The Empress has been most kind to me. More so than before. She was excited to feel the twins move and kick. It was a tear-filled moment for the three of us. Briala seemed almost beside herself as the twin moved and wiggled. Celene shared the name of the baby girl, Clarisse. Named after her mother. Many provisions have been made and at nearly half way, my time in both kingdoms grows shorter. Alistair wishes me to have the babes at the palace in Denerim. To organize a trip with Celene but Celene wishes the babes born here with Alistair making the trek to Orlais. I fear it may come down to my choice. If I were to get my wish the babes would be born in Skyhold, but the risk is too great. I will be forced soon to chose. A choice I can only hope does not upset the other party._

_I snuck around Skyhold before I left. Interestingly I found the information of the Venatori being deeply imbedded in Orlais. Taking it upon myself I spoke with Celene and Briala. They were both painfully aware, but unable to root out the cause. Several of the Venatori men they captured either drank poison or were impossible to crack. Dying instead at the torturers hands. I informed them of Leliana’s trick. Most of Tevinter have never seen a nug. While we see them as cute little companions, Venatori can (and have) been convinced they are terrifying, flesh eating, demonic terrors! I could not stop giggling when Leliana told me how they broke one Venatori agent with the help of her personal companion, Mr. Schmooples. I dare say it was a stroke of brilliance and a right proper laugh. Celene found it most intriguing while Briala could barely contain her snickering. Perhaps with this bit of shared knowledge we may yet remove the rotted heart of this horrid cult._

_Briala sent word for a nug from Leliana. If I am correct the pet should arrive within a few days and we can work on collecting an agent. I hear clear foot steps at night, pacing about the halls. If I am correct, then I already know what to do. Together we can solve this problem, and insure the safety of the babes._ Diana

**Fine Orlesian vellum sealed with the lion’s façade-**

_My dearest Lady Nightingale. I wish to purchase one of your lovely nugs. We have much use for a companion for the babe and other important matters. If you could kindly send one or two we are more than willing to pay any price for the precious darlings. I await you answer_ – Empress Celene


	21. Cullen's writing 5 months in

_Zevran is an interesting character about Skyhold. Sneaking about in dark corners and scaring the life out of me at nearly ever waking hour. While the man did assist in saving my life, I still feel I could have managed the situation myself. The bundle of papers has finally been decoded. It seems that the Crows were only involved by proxy. Venatori agents have been unsuccessful in gaining access to Skyhold so they turned to the next best solution. They blame Diana for the loss of their leader, the loss of a strengthened Tevinter. War is coming to Minrathous, and Seheron. Qunari are preparing a strike or at the least that is what the Venatori believe is going to occur, crumpling the Imperium. I remember Dorian speaking of the war. He claimed it was nothing more than the odd spat along different borders, nothing in so heavy a terms as a full on march. It may be my reasoning and mine alone, but I believe that someone has fed the Venatori misinformation about the Qunari. Though some of these letters are startling. They speak of the Qunari forcing their Saarabas mages to drink lyrium. Most distressing as I have been told the Saarabas are extremely powerful mages. Lyrium mixed into that could produce rifts again. Something Thedas could sorely do without. They blame this all on Diana. Believing her death would unite the Imperium to take the southern states of Fereldan, the Free Marches and Orlais. With these nations in their grasp they could man a large enough army to push back and perhaps even conquer the Qunari. I shudder at the thought of such a war. We see the damage mages and templars have caused down here, I could only imagine the damage if we joined the Imperium._

_They intend to assassinate her at the next ball. Josephine has tried to counter this, giving us more time by pushing the ball back. Opting to only throw a second ball before the twins come. This way the Venatori may make a mistake and we can capitalize on it._

_Diana found out about the Venatori. I know not how, but she knows. I am only glad she doesn’t know about the poison. Or any of the earlier things. She only knows of the issues in Orlais. I cannot lie to her, and I avoid the subject. That has earned me her ire. Before she left we quarreled. So much so, she threw the ring at me before storming down to the waiting carriage. Her words will ring in my ears for eternity, “I am no child, you cannot keep the truth from me. It is not protecting me! You are protecting yourself, like a coward. Not the man I chose as a partner, to walk beside and hold us strong. I will not suffer being lied to and treated like a burden.” I know it is the babes that make her sore and easy to anger. I can only hope that with time, she will see I only care about one thing; her. Maker forgive me_. – Cullen


	22. Entry 22

**A letter address to Cullen from Diana,**

_By the time this arrives I should be nearly at Skyhold’s portcullis. I wished to apologize. My words were harsh and while honest not the best way to convey my thoughts. I understand you only wished to protect me and had only my best interests in heart. I wish to make it up to you my darling. I come bearing a gift for you. I won’t go into details in this letter but I do hope you enjoy it. Or at least get some interesting use from it. I hope you are a silk man._

_I give too much away. Things have been uncomfortable and I wish to speak honest with you. Sleep has been impossible the last few days. The babes move and push at my insides at all hours. Celene thankfully called a healer and it is a wonderful sign I am told. Both are healthy and growing well. She warned me that the babes may come early and I am to relax as much as I can. Truth be told, I laughed her out of the room. Me? Relax? Maker, I’m the Inquisitor! I don’t think I’ll ever relax. The Anchor flares and sparks in the early morning hours. It isn’t so much a pain as a constant irritation. I only wish we could consult Solas._

_Enjoy of my bantering. I miss you. And I am not leaving again without you by my side. Forgive me my love. You are my everything and I would be eternally lost with you. I want you in my bed, naked and wanting. I need your hands on my skin. Please, meet me in my room. I wish to waste no further time without you. My love, forgive me. I shall see you soon. – Diana_


	23. Entry 23

**Josephine’s invitations:**

_The Inquisitor cordially invites you to join her in the celebration of the one-year anniversary of the defeat of Corypheus and his Venatori. Please come in your finest attire as we are holding a formal ball. If you cannot attend please send word as soon as possible. All efforts will be made to accommodate any special requirements.  Please send your replies to Ambassador Josephine Montilyet._

**Cullen’s diary, a rushed entry**

_The ball is coming within a month and I am nearly buried in papers. Courting letters from Orlesian nobles. Some seeking rather colourful time and others requesting information on my lineage. Diana caught one of the letters addressed to me by a rather unscrupulous woman. Diana read the letter out loud, causing my face to become increasingly heats. As she spoke the words I sat with my back to her, trying to focus on the snow outside my window. I was too busy trying to maintain my resolve that I didn’t notice her approach me from behind. It was a heated interaction and one of the more brazen encounters we have had. It would have been perfect save for the sight of blood. I panicked and called immediately for a healer. Diana scolded my haste and the healer assured us it was alright, but we have been informed, rather harshly, that all intimacy must come to an immediate end. Less we risk the welfare of the babes. Diana was very much crushed by the sentiment. All was not hopeless as the healer informed her that continued effort may bring on early labour. Labor that we need to stave off for a couple more months at the least, then it was recommended we could indulge._

_Maker I do not believe I have ever been so embarrassed and terrified in all my years. She has been told to rest and I left her upon her bed, a good book and something to snack upon before I returned to my mountain of papers. I find this comforting. Somewhere to release my thoughts without fear of judgement and perhaps when I look back one day, we may laugh about much of this. So much so I have the letter and kept it in this book. I can only hope it provides a fond memory in the years to come. Maker willing – Cullen_


	24. Entry 24

**Diana’s diary before the night of the ball – 7 months**

_I spent half of the day lazing about in bed. Answering this letter, and Josephine’s questions. After a while they allowed me to take the throne and handle several nobles’ disputes. It felt good to be doing something again. Since my incident in Cullen’s tower they have relegated me to less and less work. Only a month left before I pack to make my stay at Denerim palace._

_Josephine has assured me, more times than I can count, that Skyhold will continue on without my ever-watchful eyes. I can only hope this ends with the desired effect. My gown for the ball is not exactly to my liking but I was told a woman heavy with child should avoid form fitted apparel. Well I declined to believe such things, I was informed this was a celebratory ball for the victory over Corypheus. It is hard to believe it has already been a year. It seems like yesterday that I was cascading down a floating hunk of rock to my possible doom after ripping his internal organs into the Fade. Ah, fond memories._

_I suppose I can put on the mask of Inquisitor for one last ball. I doubt truly it will be the last, but it feels like it is. There are whispers in the halls of dissent from Orlais’s nobles and Fereldan Banns. I can only surmise we shall last another year at most. How fickle people are in their affections when the threat is dealt with. I should end this thought before it engulfs me in melancholy. Cullen assures me there will be enough to keep us busy no matter what we wish to do. Mia writes that the plot of land beside them has been put up for sale. I sent her back enough coin to buy the land and to keep her cellar stocks full this winter. I have yet to tell Cullen but I know he yearns for a quiet life._

_I shall surprise him with it once we return back to Skyhold. That will hopefully make the trauma to come less. I believe I have set myself to handle the sorrow that will ensue. I can only hope I have prepared myself enough. Alas, I should sleep. Nobles are bothersome on a proper rest, I toy with disaster by risking a good sleep. – Diana_

**A Hastily scribbled letter upon Leliana’s desk-**

_Come to the archives in the lower sections of Skyhold. I seemed to have captured a delicate rat – Zevran_


	25. Entry 25

**Report from Zevran**

_My dearest Leliana, after our encounter last night with our newest friend, we have made slight progress. It seems that the agent was sent by an elven woman, out of Orlais. After much work and few breaks that was the most information we could get. I sense she was just a diversion and it would be best to check your papers and the vault. It is unclear to me what this agent was after but I do not believe they are part of the Venatori threat. Someone else has eyes on our Inquisitor, and her Commander. Stay on guard, this is not the last we shall see of this threat. – Zevran_

**Cullen to Leliana, a scribbled letter**

_I found within my desk this morning a vial filled with lyrium. I have not kept such things for some time, for obvious reasons. It has unnerved me greatly. I have done a discreet check of the Inquisitors chambers and found nothing out of place. My tower, however cannot share the same details. Several of my clothing items are missing, a dagger, a few sheets of parchment, a writing quill and a set of my gloves. I do not know who’s joke this is, but Maker help them if I find them! – Cullen_


	26. Dark Velium

**Dark Velum found upon the body of an unidentified man**

_It is done. There is no proof of anything, as you requested. When the time comes, your partner can lay claim to whatever she wishes. Our contract is done. Maker take that as it is. – Fredrick_

**A letter to Rylen from Commander Cullen**

_I require your return to Skyhold. I am needed to travel with the Inquisitor in her final months before the babes arrive. If you have a man under you, that you feel can handle the job of running and maintaining Griffon’s Keep, do so. If not, we can appoint a man here and send him down. I require you to leave post haste. The Inquisitor has plans to leave to Fereldan in the next month. We cannot hold off on the journey. I will lay out the duty rosters and plans upon my desk. You may use my tower as your office and room if you require so. Josephine can assist with any needs you have. Thank you. – Cullen_

**Diana’s journal dated two weeks after the ball, 7 ½ months pregnant**

_The ball went over well, all things considered. We know await the return of Rylen from the Western Approach. Once he has returned to Skyhold we are set to take a couch to Fereldan. Alistair tells me that the Empress agreed to his terms. I have begun packing my belongings. Soon these babes will enter this world, and I will be left trying to mend things again. Cullen is sweet and tends to me but I see the worry in his eyes, and I can’t bare to bring pain to them. He has suffered enough._

_I regret this. More today than I ever have. I never expected these feelings to burn so heatedly in my heart. I feel the twins tumble, hiccup and kick within me. I am angry that I will never get to see my children. Hold them, kiss away their tears and tend them. It is bittersweet to know that my sacrifice will save these kingdoms. Were it a different time, a different place I would run. Run as far away as I could. I have slipped from the bed late at night and walked the battlements, tears streaming from my eyes. Were it not a matter of Thedas, were it not for the kindness Alistair has shown. I do not believe I could do this._

_I grow tired. So very tired of being the Inquisitor. There are rumbles that Divine Victoria is fielding daily complaints about us. Our work may soon be done. Pressure is growing, and the world is changing. Nobles from Orlais and Fereldan treated us differently at the ball. Like we were a relic that needed to be placed upon a shelf. I will be no one’s toy! No one’s gilded bird within a cage! I will see the Inquisition burnt to the ground before I give any of it to anyone! I have not fought, starved, froze and nearly died for this to mean nothing! For my blood and sweat to mean nothing!_

_I must go. I require a stroll in the garden to calm myself before Cullen returns from his duties. Pray this matter ends well, for I can see nothing but fire and flame. – Diana_


	27. Traitors

**Leliana’s personal writing**

_Damn them! Damn them all! Traitors to our cause! Someone managed to slip into the archives, I can only assume while we were busy with the foreign agent. They stole the written agreement between Celene, Alistair and Diana. Without that paper, we can sorely prove anything. Briala claims she had no knowledge of the intended theft. Says the agent was a former lover seeking to appease her. Zevran agrees we cannot be sure. All we are sure of, is the hand behind the agent was indeed elven. We haven’t been able to get word to Diana. She left for Fereldan with Cullen this morning. I have dispatched my fastest agents but I fear they may be hunted. Whoever is behind this, has made it clear they wish the end of the Inquisition. I shall see them fail – Leliana_

**Travelling Diary of Cullen Rutherford**

_On the road to Denerim I noticed movement through the woods in the Hinterlands. I believe we are being followed. Stopping at the inn, I did a search of the grounds. Someone is very intent on keeping their eyes upon Diana. We are in danger, but I dare not say so to her. She has been bubbly, bright and affectionate. I cannot bare to see her mood change._

_I shall inform the guard to be on alert. Part of me believes she already knows and is putting on a front for me. I witnessed her slight of hand as she pawed the dagger she keeps hidden at her side. I will let her rest and keep watch. Whomever this is, shall not see their goal met - Cullen_


	28. Outside Denerim

**Diana’s diary, 8 months pregnant, the inn outside of Denerim**

_The well has two more bodies to add to its history. Poor Cully, he nearly fainted. He hadn’t expected me to reach behind the long curtains and stab a man to death. His face was priceless as I tossed the dagger across the room and nailed the other bastard between the eyes. Knew they would make their move soon. Predictable. Letters on the body confirm they were from the Orlesian assassin House of Repose. I sent word to Josephine, I’m certain this will fair well. I have taken the chance to write word to the head of the league. I guarantee he will find my letter most, enlightening. Of course, threaten to open a rift in the center of their compound may aid in his efforts to refund their wayward client._

_I was more intensely angered that their second target was Cullen. I know he heard them the first night we stayed at the inn upon the road. Had I not slipped a poison into their water, I believe they intended to sabotage the coach. Perhaps drive us off the road and finish us in the confusion. It’s how I knew the one was behind the curtain. Terrible wheezing. I have to say I love that little rot gut poison. Works rather well when needed._

_I do digress. The danger has not passed. I received the letter from Leliana. I had a feeling we would be betrayed. The whispers on the winds say an exalted council awaits us sooner than later. I can only hope to bend the King’s ear and perhaps buy us a bit more time. To be fair, I am unsure I want the time. So much is happening and so quickly. I smile for my Cullen. To prevent the fear from crawling up inside of me. After I finished cleaning down my blades I snuggled him tightly. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do any of this, any more._

_I cried for some time in his arms. A shaking mess. Until he tilted my head up and kissed my lips with a tenderness I was surprised at. He told me he loved me. Would always love me. I was strong. When this was over and everything has calmed we could start our own family. Somewhere quiet and away from prying eyes, and sinister hearts. For the first time in months I felt truly loved. Honestly and truly. We shall see this through, Maker even if it kills me. – Diana_


	29. Hurried scrawlings from Cullen Rutherford

**Cullen’s journal dated 8 ½ months pregnant**

_Diana’s water broke late this morning and I was ushered out of the room. I have been pacing up and down the corridors as she screams out in agony. I cannot bare it. It breaks my soul. Celene and Alistair have been permitted into the room and I have been told I may go to her once the babes are born. Celene and Alistair have each brought their wet nurses who coo and paw at me. I have no patience for such things and find it increasingly difficult to keep my tongue still. I threw several items across the room and broke a few other items. Arl Teagan has been less that helpful as he pouts and frets. Uttering soft curses at me when he passes me in the hall. I feel as if I am going to lose my mind. It has been hours and I await word. – Cullen_

**Medical notes left upon the nightstand in Diana’s quarters**

_Twins are healthy, vibrant and strong. The Inquisitor rests now. She lost a lot of blood and it is unclear if she will survive the ordeal. I recommended the Commander stay by her side. His presence has helped her regain consciousness and in that, there may be power. He reads to her, letters from their advisors, his family, and prays at all hours. Prayer will be needed to pull her through. I document all of this for my safety. The Empress’s elven servant called upon my services. I am unsure of her true intentions but I fear for my life. Things aren’t as the appear, I have my doubts on the authenticity of the Empress’s pregnancy. Her elven Ambassador said my skills were needed to tend to the Empress. At least that is what I was informed by the elven serving girl. Maker, it feels off, but I cannot turn down someone in need. Pray for me._


	30. In Time

**Parchment half damp, tattered and re-dried before used again**

_Leliana, I have discovered our enemy but I arrived too late to save the healers and servants. It was an elven servant. A young girl, obsessed with Briala. She set up the poisons to kill Diana, set the assassins to murder Cullen, even the agent who took the papers. All to please Briala. Before I arrived, she spiked Diana’s tea with a potion to induce labor. Even killed the healers and any who saw the birth, none were spared. I would approve of such brutal work if I hadn’t interrupted her effort to kill Diana. It was a pitched battle. The young Dalish girl was quite skilled, perhaps trained as a bard once. Sadly, her skills were a touch rusty with poisoned knives. I am, as you know nearly immune to most common, and some rare, poisons. She, however, was not. Sadly, she died before I could get much more, but her letters from her room were quite telling. I shall leave those for you in my normal location. I would say your troubles are over, dear friend but that is not the world we live in. Crows in the area picked up my trail. I must disappear for a while. I shall contact you once I have secured my safety, or killed those who threaten it. I look forward to working together again soon. – Zevran_

**Inside the hollow of an unmarked tree in the Hinterlands-**

_I regret nothing. Briala loves me, I know she does! She’s using Celene to lead our people into our glorious rebirth! I have everything in order, just like Briala taught me. The Inquisitor will give birth to the heirs and die. Leaving no one to question Celene’s child. Briala will nurture the babe, raise her to feel for our plight and once she is of age to take the throne, we shall remove the aged Empress. Our new Empress, with our training, will give our people our sovereign rights to our land once more! It is a long plan, one that will take many years, but we have waiting a thousand years, what are a dozen more? Celene will push to disband the Inquisition, and nothing will stop us! We, the true rulers of Thedas, the Elvhen, will rise to power absolute! It will be such a slow and steady turn, no one will see it in time to stop it. I go now, tonight. To end those healers and servants that saw the babes born. Once my wet work is done, I will finish the Inquisitor. She will be effortless in her weakened state. If I have the Creators on my side, I may manage to kill the Commander in his sleep as well. I have left poison to be doubly sure. Creators steady my hand and help me finish what we started, - unsigned_


	31. Bad News

**Poster, nailed to the Chantry board outside of Val Chevin**

_It is with great sorrow in our hearts that we send our prayers to the Inquisitor Diana Marieanne Trevelyan and her partner Commander of the Inquisition’s armies, Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford. On the twenty fifth day of Harvestmere, nine thirty-two Dragon, their twin babies passed into the loving arms of the Maker. Lady Diana, the Inquisitor, has been inconsolable in her grief and at this time the Chantry stands beside her in her loss. Any donations are being used to open an orphanage in each town that houses a Chantry, in honor of their great tragedy. If you can aid in the set up in any way please speak the Revered Mother in your local Chantry. May the Maker cast his gaze upon you._

**Cullen’s diary dated 27 Harvestmere 9:32 Dragon**

_Zevran saved her life. I can’t believe what he told me and the letters we found in ~~that bitch~~ I can’t even put it into words. Diana is resting and I refuse to leave her side. I have been unable to form words for the last few days. Alistair has been kind to us, spending his day talking with me and sharing in quiet solitude. He has offered to aid in any way possible, sending word to Leliana and securing healers to tend to Diana’s well being. I am lost. This isn’t a battle I was or could ever truly be prepared for. How does one prepare for such horrors as this? Healers say she will be well enough to travel within the week and she has demanded to return to Skyhold. Alistair is making arrangements to get us more comfortable travel back. He informed me we could leave as early as two days from now. Diana was pleased enough with this and informed everyone in the room she wanted to be alone. She even kicked me out, only wishing my return at night. The female healer patted me on the shoulder and informed me this was nothing unheard of. I returned to her side in the evening, a basket of bloodied wash clothes and towels in the corner made the room smell of copper. I asked a servant to remove the offending garments and to gather some incense to help ease the smell from the room. Diana smiled weakly at my Commander tone with the servant. Laying beside her I gave her tender kisses upon her forehead, and she seemed to shine a bit. Her essence is in there, and it will be strong again. I stayed by her side till she slumbered and now to ease my mind I write here before I return to rest. Once we return to Skyhold I shall have Josephine and Leliana handle as much of the day to day works of the Inquisition until Diana is ready. Ready on her own terms. I shall not tolerate her being disturbed in her grief. Maker knows she has been through enough. I pray that in the coming days, she can move past this and find the spark inside her that got her through so much already. – Cullen_


	32. Final entry from Cullen Rutherford

**Cullen’s Diary two months later**

_Diana has shut herself up in her room since our return to Skyhold a month and a half back. She eats very little and cries at all hours. She denies anyone access to her, even servants. Only I may can come and go from her quarters._

_I have sent letter to Mia. I am over due visiting my sister and our family. I am hoping taking Diana away from here, to a calmer life, perhaps it will shake her from her sorrow. Mia has been told all I can tell her, and word has travelled to South Reach. She has begun preparations and I have informed Leliana and Josephine. No one complains, either out of fear or respect. I cannot say I care which it is._

_The journey will take nearly a month, even at a quicker pace. I have begun packing and sorting out arrangements and Master Denet has provided two of his fastest horses and one of the lightest coaches. I am praying a visit with my nephew may prove to be the balm for this ache. Mia is excited to see me and even more so to meet Diana._

_I haven’t told Diana where we travel to, just that I am required somewhere and I wish her to come with me. There was no hesitation when she agreed to travel. That light I love about her seemed to flicker again in her eyes. Mischief came back to her if only for a moment. It gave me hope that a long visit with family may bring her about once more._

_We leave soon and I look forward to the road. We run our heads against the stone here. Orlais wants us to bow to them, sign agreements to be ruled by the Empress’s hands. Fereldan would see us disbanded and our power erased. Arl Teagan bangs away at the war drum, and Alistair does his best to hold him back but the political pressure is mounting. Soon they will push for Divine Victoria to call a summit. Cassandra, rather the Divine has tried to push it back and quell as much as she can. The loss of the babes has quieted things down for the moment, but the embers are starting to burn again._

_Diana is in no state to make a sound decision. I fear it will come to the Exalted Council and it will be decided there. Maker willing, I can help ease her back into her role, if only to face one last mountain. Mia tells me the plot of land beside them is ours. A secret she could no longer keep. Diana bought it some time ago and was meant to share the news with me in happier times. I sent some coin along to purchase the supplies needed to build. Diana loves working with her hands, and perhaps building a home may help her let go of what can no longer be controlled._

_I must return to my work. There is much to pack for, and prepare for before we leave. – Cullen_


	33. Haven't Seen the Last of Me

**Diana’s Journal 9:33 Dragon First of Haring**

_It has done me wonders visiting with Cullen’s family. Mia is wonderful and makes me laugh all the time. Teasing at Cullen, besting him in chess. She is the mother figure, and she is fierce. I enjoy her company immensely!_

_We finished building the house. It is a small home, but it is ours. We can build on more in the years to come. For now, it is perfect. Mia presented us with a few gifts as Cullen and his brother finished the thatching._

_I could go on and on about his family, the farm, their mabari but I fear I could write forever. Instead I wish to cleanse myself before we go much further. I have been devastated about the loss of the twins but I know in my heart they are in their proper places and the safety of Fereldan has been solidified. Perhaps they may learn the truth one day, but I have played my part and must move on._

_Cullen hasn’t brought up children, or even thinking about trying again. He has hid letters from Skyhold from me, which proved ineffective as I found them anyway. They are calling an Exalted Council to take place in six months time. To decide the fate of the Inquisition. A fate I hold in my hands._

_It is over. I want this here. I want this life here. A quiet time together, farming, family and our only concern being the fields or the animals. I have that power. I have that right. I have bled, sweat and nearly died far more times than a person ever should for Thedas. I believe my time is done. At the least, I am done. It has taken many nights of deep thought, unanswered prayers and quiet sit downs by the evening fire with Mia to make this decision. She has been my guiding light and I cannot thank Cullen enough for bringing me here. It has brought me back to life, and relit that fire inside. When the Inquisition ends, it will be by my hand, no one else. I will see to ever member, and each friend I have found. They will not be forgotten, neither will their efforts go unrewarded._

_This is the last page in my diary, and it has sounded the end of nearly a year and a half of work. In a month, we travel to Skyhold, prepare and head to the Exalted Council at Halamshiral. From there, a new chapter in my life begins. Maker willing, this goes smoothly. We have done all there is to do, and we can now rest easy knowing Thedas has been spared its worst fate at the hands of Corypheus, his Venatori and demons. There have been no reports of demons, rifts, or Venatori agents._

_Cullen shuffles in his sleep, his nightmares long have left him. Lyrium withdrawal all but a memory. It is wonderful to see colour return to his cheeks, his eyes no longer sullen and dark rimmed. I fear to continue the Inquisition would kill him. He gives so much of himself, but here. Here he is different. A kind and gently Uncle, playing in the fields and telling wonderful tales. This is the life he deserves. He laughs daily, gives his love freely and openly without thought. This is what I wish for him, for us. Maker, I am becoming emotional._

_This is the end of the Inquisitor, but it is not the end of Diana. It is the beginning for Cullen and Diana Rutherford. I have decided to bury this book at the threshold of our home. Something to remember and forget. So, for the last time I sign my name. For the last time I say, we will live on. – Diana_


End file.
